it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
