3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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