Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
