All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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