PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
