i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
