you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
