i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Are my feet made of real feet?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
