is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
