tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh god it's open bar.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
