And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
