well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
