i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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