Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
