i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
