I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
