When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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