I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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