This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
