She's JV to your varsity
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
