literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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