ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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