Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
