How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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