I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
