I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
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i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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