He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
