whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
