Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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