i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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