Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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