she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
