Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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