captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
