he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize