Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
