Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
