They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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