i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
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I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
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So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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