Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
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In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
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Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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