After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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