the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
