I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.