I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.