You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.