If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
