Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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