I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
