we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
