dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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