We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
