adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
