I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
