no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
