If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
