Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
