i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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