is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
